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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
yourplayersaidwhat

DM Mischief and a Character named Steven

yourplayersaidwhat

So, my players were asking about an alchemist whose name was Sif. I didn’t have a plan for the character at the time, so the first time it happened….

At Ye Old Bratwurst Stand…

Paladin: Hey, you wouldn’t happen to know of a man named Sif?

Bratwurst Seller: Nah, doesn’t ring a bell. But I do know a man named Steven!

Paladin: No, we aren’t looking for a Steven, but thanks!

The second time it happened, in a crowd watching a street performance…

Fighter: Excuse me, do you recognize the name Sif?

Halfling: Nooooooo, the name is not in tune with the spirits and me…sorry. I do know a man named Steven!

Fighter: Oh, okay, no thanks. 

I kept doing this with every single person they asked, and it just got funnier. And funnier. And funnier. It eventually became a mantra, until finally, the party decided they wanted to find Steven. It almost turned into a freaking side quest. 

When they finally found Steven in the apothecary…

Steven: Hey! What can I get ya?

Paladin: Hi, we’re looking for a man named Sif?

Steven: Hmmm…I don’t know a Sif, but I do know a Steven!

yourplayersaidwhat
yourplayersaidwhat

My neutral evil rogue was speaking to the guildmaster of the Mages’ Guild about learning tarot readings. This happened shortly after she insisted that the level three party not leave a dungeon until they stole a staff that a black dragon was guarding.

Guildmaster: Now keep in mind that some people will take their fortunes very seriously. You must use common sense.

Rogue (me): I have plenty of common sense.

DM: … I almost want you to roll a deception check for that.

spark-eminence
writing-references-yah

I think the best piece of character design advice I ever received was actually from a band leadership camp I attended in june of 2017. 

the speaker there gave lots of advice for leaders—obviously, it was a leadership camp—but his saying about personality flaws struck me as useful for writers too. 

he said to us all “your curses are your blessings and your blessings are your curses” and went on to explain how because he was such a great speaker, it made him a terrible listener. he could give speeches for hours on end and inspire thousands of people, but as soon as someone wanted to talk to him one on one or vent to him, he struggled with it. 

he had us write down our greatest weakness and relate it to our biggest strength (mine being that I am far too emotional, but I’m gentle with others because I can understand their emotions), and the whole time people are sharing theirs, my mind was running wild with all my characters and their flaws.

previously, I had added flaws as an after thought, as in “this character seems too perfect. how can I make them not-like-that?” but that’s not how people or personalities work. for every human alive, their flaws and their strengths are directly related to each other. you can’t have one without the other.

is your character strong-willed? that can easily turn into stubbornness. is your character compassionate? maybe they give too many chances. are they loyal? then they’ll destroy the world for the people they love.

it works the other way around too: maybe your villain only hates the protagonist’s people because they love their own and just have a twisted sense of how to protect them. maybe your antagonist is arrogant, but they’ll be confident in everything they do.

tl;dr “your curses are your blessings, and your blessings are your curses” there is no such thing as a character flaw, just a strength that has been stretched too far.

mareebrittenford

This is such a fabulous flip side of what I’ve always known about villians. That their biggest weakness is that they always assume their own motivations are the motives of others.

elliewritesstories

This is brilliant!!

Source: writeblr-references
spark-eminence

Words to replace said, except this actually helps

msocasey

I got pretty fed up with looking for words to replace said because they weren’t sorted in a way I could easily use/find them for the right time. So I did some myself.

IN RESPONSE TO
Acknowledged
Answered
Protested

INPUT/JOIN CONVERSATION/ASK
Added
Implored
Inquired
Insisted
Proposed
Queried
Questioned
Recommended
Testified

GUILTY/RELUCTANCE/SORRY
Admitted
Apologized
Conceded
Confessed
Professed

FOR SOMEONE ELSE
Advised
Criticized
Suggested

JUST CHECKING
Affirmed
Agreed
Alleged
Confirmed

LOUD
Announced
Chanted
Crowed

LEWD/CUTE/SECRET SPY FEEL
Appealed
Disclosed
Moaned

ANGRY FUCK OFF MATE WANNA FIGHT
Argued
Barked
Challenged
Cursed
Fumed
Growled
Hissed
Roared
Swore

SMARTASS
Articulated
Asserted
Assured
Avowed
Claimed
Commanded
Cross-examined
Demanded
Digressed
Directed
Foretold
Instructed
Interrupted
Predicted
Proclaimed
Quoted
Theorized

ASSHOLE
Bellowed
Boasted
Bragged

NERVOUS TRAINWRECK
Babbled
Bawled
Mumbled
Sputtered
Stammered
Stuttered

SUAVE MOTHERFUCKER
Bargained
Divulged
Disclosed
Exhorted

FIRST OFF
Began

LASTLY
Concluded
Concurred

WEAK PUSY
Begged
Blurted
Complained
Cried
Faltered
Fretted

HAPPY/LOL
Cajoled
Exclaimed
Gushed
Jested
Joked
Laughed

WEIRDLY HAPPY/EXCITED
Extolled
Jabbered
Raved

BRUH, CHILL
Cautioned
Warned

ACTUALLY, YOU’RE WRONG
Chided
Contended
Corrected
Countered
Debated
Elaborated
Objected
Ranted
Retorted

CHILL SAVAGE
Commented
Continued
Observed
Surmised

LISTEN BUDDY
Enunciated
Explained
Elaborated
Hinted
Implied
Lectured
Reiterated
Recited
Reminded
Stressed

BRUH I NEED U AND U NEED ME
Confided
Offered
Urged

FINE
Consented
Decided

TOO EMO FULL OF EMOTIONS
Croaked
Lamented
Pledged
Sobbed
Sympathized
Wailed
Whimpered

JUST SAYING
Declared
Decreed
Mentioned
Noted
Pointed out
Postulated
Speculated
Stated
Told
Vouched

WASN’T ME
Denied
Lied

EVIL SMARTASS
Dictated
Equivocated
Ordered
Reprimanded
Threatened

BORED
Droned
Sighed

SHHHH IT’S QUIET TIME
Echoed
Mumbled
Murmured
Muttered
Uttered
Whispered

DRAMA QUEEN
Exaggerated
Panted
Pleaded
Prayed
Preached

OH SHIT
Gasped
Marveled
Screamed
Screeched
Shouted
Shrieked
Yelped
Yelled

ANNOYED
Grumbled
Grunted
Jeered
Quipped
Scolded
Snapped
Snarled
Sneered

ANNOYING
Nagged

I DON’T REALLY CARE BUT WHATEVER
Guessed
Ventured

I’M DRUNK OR JUST BEING WEIRDLY EXPRESSIVE FOR A POINT/SARCASM
Hooted
Howled
Yowled

I WONDER
Pondered
Voiced
Wondered

OH, YEAH, WHOOPS
Recalled
Recited
Remembered

SURPRISE BITCH
Revealed

IT SEEMS FAKE BUT OKAY/HA ACTUALLY FUNNY BUT I DON’T WANT TO LAUGH OUT LOUD
Scoffed
Snickered
Snorted

BITCHY
Tattled
Taunted
Teased

imagines--assemble

reblog to save a writer 

whispersandwhiskerburn

Reblog because the titles for each category are comedy gold.

Source: msocasey
spark-eminence
carry-on-my-otp

THERE’S A SEQUEL

homuratrash

vine #1: “They say if you look at something for long enough, you’ll start to love it. [shouting] WELL I’LL BE SHOVING MY COCK IN THE FUCKING BRAKE LIGHTS”

vine #2: “Americans drive on that side of the road. But in England, on this side of the road, you sit here and [shouting] DO FUCKING NOTHING.”

vine #3: “Do you wanna live in London? Do you wanna live life in the fast lane? [shouting] GOOD FUCKING LUCK FINDING IT AHH.”

vine #4: “Here’s another joke. So this American guy walks into a bar. Then an Australian guy walks into the bar. Then a English guy–well, he can’t [shouting] FUCKING MAKE IT.”

vine #5: “You can’t just blame the foreigners for traffic, you can’t even just blame motorists for traffic. Sometimes it’s [shouting] FUCKING SANTA CLAU–”

21-fandoms

i truly believe this guy’s vines will be the cause of death

troylerphanisbae

omg I love these

Source: vikingfighter
spark-eminence
couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name

the two previous movie series of Spider-Man always had it that Spidey was a Big Hit with the citizens of nyc in spite of the negative press/police departments actively hunting him down but we haven’t really seen anything like that in the mcu past Peter’s classmates simply being aware that Spider-Man is a hero who exists, like we didn’t see any slandering articles or angry officers which is WEIRD considering the canonical climate about superheros in the mcu right now so like….I really hope it carries over into this third series because frankly I love the idea of everyone in a post-accords world in constant debate about superheroes like ‘should they be held accountable for casualties’ and ‘does it make sense to give all this power to just a few people and force them to make potentially catastrophic situations’ and ‘do we even truly Need superheroes’ like any and all debate they can think of but at the same time, all the citizens in New York are collectively like ‘Yeah….but we’re gonna leave the Spider-Boy out of this….he just wants to help out….he’s doing his Best..’ lmao

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name

The Entire City Of New York: after all the danger we’ve been placed in since these superheroes started popping up, since the Avenger’s set up a headquarters here- we’re sick of it. superheroes only prevent problems that they create in the first place and cause millions in damages doing it. we want our city to be safe!

Also The Entire City Of New York: we’ve only had Spider-Man for a year and a half but if anything ever happened to him we would kill everyone on this planet and then ourselves

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name

J. Jonah Jameson: writes a scathing article about the ‘spider menace’ ‘terrorizing’ Queens and campaigns for his arrest and imprisonment alongside other ‘mutant menaces’ 

That Nice Old Lady that bought Peter a churro: *barges into the Daily Bugle office swinging her handbag with deadly force* 

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name

Citizens of New York City: fuck the avengers!!

The Rest Of The World: you do realize that your Spider-Man has been spotted helping the Avengers on multiple occasions and many believe him to be an honorable member of the team?

Citizens of New York City:

image
couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name

image
gholateg

The image of JJJ being buried under a swath of chanclas fills me with joy… 

Source: couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name